You Unspeakable Horror

by Jer

"And without a thought of the consequence; I gave into my decadence" - Pink Floyd from the song One Slip

One of the downsides of Blogging is that, by its very nature, it encourages judgment. The practice of blogging is about the expression of opinion and opinions are nothing more than judgments. Therefore, it stands to reason that it's very easy to get judgmental on a blog.

That thought notwithstanding, I'm about to try on a black robe, sit behind the bench in the court of public opinion and dump a truckload of judgment on the head of Mila Petrov. I'm doing so, If for no other reason, than to help myself feel better knowing I have to share space on the same planet with this unspeakable horror of a human being... and calling her a human being is as close to a complement as she'll get in this piece.

Mila Petrov was a mother; 'was' being the operative word in that sentence. She was a mother until she slammed the head of her own 5-year old daughter, Melanie, into a wall and ended her life. Right now, that little, lifeless body lies unclaimed on a slab in the Cook County medical examiner's office instead of playing outside, enjoying these increasingly warm days we're experiencing here in the mid-west.

Then again, after reading in Tuesday's Chicago Sun-Times a brief account of the abuse Melanie suffered in her short five years with us, perhaps death is the best thing that ever happened to her:

Melanie was abused "for months and months," said prosecutor Marty Moore. "When she lied, [Petrov] would put jalapenos and hot sauce in her mouth." Petrov hobbled the girl "when she ran around too much" by making Melanie cross her ankles and wrapping a belt around her legs, Moore said. Often, she was locked in a closet, he said. Melanie had black eyes, multiple bruises and other signs of child abuse when doctors examined her last week, Moore said. She was injured Tuesday and died of blunt head trauma Wednesday.

"The mother admitted that she was mad at Melanie," Moore said. "The daughter had thrown up, and because of that, she hit her head and the head went into the wall." Petrov then hit her some more, Moore said. Instead of calling 911, she called her husband and cleaned up the house, Moore said.

Again, Mila Petrov, you unspeakable horror.

The acts of this woman don't only violate state and federal law, but they also defy the most basic tenants of natural law.

Growing-up, my family spent its summers in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We owned a cabin on a lake deep in the woods of the Hiawatha National Forest. This lake was so remote, that the last ten miles of the trip – give or take – were on dirt roads that had once been old logging trails.

Being surrounded by hundreds of acres of woodland, it was only fitting that one of my favorite pastimes was to go on nature walks deep into the forest along old trails that were traveled more often by deer than by people. Anytime I would embark on these walks, I was always reminded in advance that if I saw a mother Black Bear – which are common in that part of the country – and her cub, to turn, run and don’t stop until I had reached safety. You could never be sure what a mother bear would regard as a threat to her cub, and as such, she may see fit to attack you.

Even a 'stupid animal' like a mother Black Bear knows and understands something Mila Petrov never did. Whether in nature or in human society, the first obligation of any parent is to the protection of their child; even if that means protection from the parent themselves.

But Mila Petrov did more than simply fail to protect her child. She became Melanie's greatest threat. The child whose instinct was to reach out, love and accept love from her mother spent her brief, terror-filled life probably trying to reconcile in that little mind of hers what she did wrong to make 'Mommy' so mad.

I can only hope and pray that death was release for little Melanie and that Mila will not be granted the same fate anytime soon; let her live with the knowledge of her own depravity for years to come.

Unfortunately, the culpability does not end with her. Who else knew of the hobbling, the force feeding of jalapenos and hot sauce, the beatings, and the locking in closets? Who else failed to to protect Melanie? The father? An aunt? A neighbor? A DCFS social worker?

I've said it before and I will say it again. Child abuse is a community issue and parenthood is not ownership. The pain of abuse runs deep and the consequences run down through generations. Eventually we'll all feel the sting of it, therefore we stand to gain from ending it, even if it's not our own kid.

What if, twenty years from now, Melanie was still alive. A self-loathing, wretched figure who only knows how to hate herself because that was the message 'Mommy' gave her until the day she finally left home. In order to sooth the pain and ease the thoughts of worthlessness, Melanie drinks, regularly experiencing periods of blackouts and lost hours.

One evening, in a drunken stupor, Melanie decides to get behind the wheel of her car and drive to only-God-knows-where. It's late. It's dark. She's drunk and she's not alone on the road. As she struggles to maintain control of the vehicle, she drifts across the median and strikes another vehicle head-on, killing a family of four.

Abuse never stays confined to the home and has broader consequences in the community.

It's reckless to think anything else.